h, Mom. You in there?” I asked softly as I knocked on the bathroom door.
“Yeeeees.” She replied slowly. Raising 10 kids made it impossible for my Mom to have a moment alone, even in the most private places.
“Well, um, the trailer’s on fire.” I said
Without a moment of hesitation, I heard the toilet flush and the door swung open. She whizzed past me and ran outside.
“She didn’t wash her hands,” I said to myself. [click to continue…]
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alf way down the hill, I began to freak out. I was going too fast and the wedgie that was riding up my ass really hurt. So I threw myself to the left and began rolling like a log.
Not smart.
“When will this terror end?” I thought as I felt jagged pebbles scraping my elbows and knees. Finally it ended, and like unraveling a carpet to discover a candle stick, I went shooting into the grass. I rolled about three times and jumped up. I immediately pulled the shorts down from around my neck.
“Cool, huh?” Duke said as he turned around and started walking away. A huge dirt stain went up the back of his sweats. I swiveled my neck and looked at my butt. My ass was also dirty. I tried to dust it off but the dirt was stained into the fabric. The three of us walked through the camp ground with what looked like skid marks. Nothing is more embarrassing than visible skid marks. [click to continue…]
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e had just settled in to bed and The Trailer was silent. So quiet, that I could hear the crickets outside rubbing their legs together.
Breaking the silence like a gun shot in a forest, a soft and steady “Pffffffffft” sound came from where my parents were sleeping. It lasted for 6 seconds and then fizzled.
“Is there a propane leak?” Brother Duke asked.
The entire trailer started shaking as Mom tried to hold in her laugh. She could never play innocent when she passed gas. Within seconds, the smell of fermenting cabbage had filled every crevice of The Trailer. Nothing stinks more than a “Mom fart.” [click to continue…]
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