by The Rooster on March 17, 2010
hen you get back from lunch, I’ll show you how to run the weed eater,” Pervert Tom said.
“Great. Can’t wait. See you after lunch.” I said as I threw the Toyota into 1st and sped out of the park’s office building. I was serving my time at the Fort Casey State Park.
In order to get back on the basketball team, I had to do 20 hours of community service. I was being punished for breaking the athletic code. I was one of 20 other athletes who got caught attending Mason Shark’s “Parents-Away -Anyone-Who’s-Anyone-Super-Huge-Blow-Out” party. Unfortunately, the school Goody Good, Messica Square, informed school officials that athletes were drinking at a party and gave the names of everyone there. She claims that her conscious made her snitch but I think it was a sting operation. This went down as one of the biggest scandals ever to rock Coupeville High School. [click to continue…]
by The Rooster on March 15, 2010
y face was an inch from the mirror. I had witnessed a hen laying an egg earlier that morning and was trying to recreate what it looked like with my mouth. I puckered my lips and slowly pushed the underside of my tongue out.
“This is so cool, my mouth totally looks like a hen’s asshole,” I thought as I swiveled my tongue around the small gap in my lips.
Finally, my mouth smacked open like the pinnacle of a good lay. Just then, with my mouth wide open, I noticed a jaw breaker sized lump on the side of my cheek.
“That’s different,” I thought. [click to continue…]
by The Rooster on March 10, 2010
ou sure you don’t want to ask Dad if you can come.” I asked Baloney. Brother Duke and I were heading up to Oak Harbor for a lovely dinner; it was 10 cent Cheeseburger night at McDonalds.
“He’s gonna say no. I already know.” Baloney said as he looked out the living room window like a prisoner longing for freedom.
That summer Baloney had been punished for trying to sneak out of the house. He pulled the classic, “I’m heading to bed guys,” and then stuffed his bed with pillows and snuck out the window. If it wasn’t for our dog barking, Dad would have never looked out the window and saw Baloney tip-toeing across the lawn. Dad grounded him for the entire summer. [click to continue…]
